Happy New Year!
Love’s Equation
I do not know what makes the very old couple I saw on the street today still hold hands, or lean on each other and smile as they shuffle with their bags of Christmas back to their home. I do not know...but I want to. I want to, like a scientist or private investigator, follow them, ask them a million questions about every time they fought and every time they have made up. I want to ask them what they did or didn't say. I want to know....what made the difference.
Perhaps even to pluck a thin grey hair out of each of their heads, look at them under a microscope, to see if Fairies of Longevity and Commitment and True Love and Cheerful Tolerance and Compromise and Compassion and Selfless Service all live in their very DNA. I want to ask them if I can and look at the last fifty years worth of pictures for any clues as to why they still hold hands and smile at each other like the best of friends.
Also, there is a couple, an older couple, who live down the hall from me. In a studio. A nice, clean, but very small studio. I want to say, “How do love each other so much? How have you not killed each other?” They smile too; at each other and at me. Both have such kindness in their eyes.
At times a darker, more cynical part of me thinks that behind closed doors she bugs the crap out of him and he basically ignores her and watches, Who Wants to be a Millionaire and thinks "I coulda married the redhead."
I can tell from their eyes that’s not true. What is true is that they love each other, really, deeply love each other…even like each other.
I can tell, like the strangers I saw walking on the street, they care enough to work at caring.
I think this is no small feat, but that the results are worth every bit of effort.
That’s what their eyes say anyway.
Today a friend's husband demanded a divorce. I want to go to their house too, as an apparition, for a week or so...float around and take notes on what not to do.
Every holiday season I watch It's a Wonderful Life. I have my own copy, and every year I sit holding my breath in painful ecstasy as George Bailey's nose touches Mary Hatch's forehead and he grabs her and says "I don't want any plastics and I don't want any ground floors and I don't want to be married to anyone, ever!" And then he pulls her close, kisses her, holds her tight and says "Mary, oh Mary."
The next scene is their wedding.
In that same movie that I so adore Mary has enough time to have four children, renovate a run-down, two-story house AND run the USO, so I realize it's not exactly based in reality, but what is real for me about it is the power of love when its in its purest, most innocent, selfless form. (I won’t ruin the movie for you by telling you all the beautiful ways this power manifests, but if you haven’t seen it go rent the DVD right this second!)
I do not know the “abiding love” algorithm unraveled and absorbed by the couple on the street, the couple down the hall, or George and Mary, but I do know that no one, including me, should settle for any less.
I do not know what makes the very old couple I saw on the street today still hold hands, or lean on each other and smile as they shuffle with their bags of Christmas back to their home. I do not know...but I want to. I want to, like a scientist or private investigator, follow them, ask them a million questions about every time they fought and every time they have made up. I want to ask them what they did or didn't say. I want to know....what made the difference.
Perhaps even to pluck a thin grey hair out of each of their heads, look at them under a microscope, to see if Fairies of Longevity and Commitment and True Love and Cheerful Tolerance and Compromise and Compassion and Selfless Service all live in their very DNA. I want to ask them if I can and look at the last fifty years worth of pictures for any clues as to why they still hold hands and smile at each other like the best of friends.
Also, there is a couple, an older couple, who live down the hall from me. In a studio. A nice, clean, but very small studio. I want to say, “How do love each other so much? How have you not killed each other?” They smile too; at each other and at me. Both have such kindness in their eyes.
At times a darker, more cynical part of me thinks that behind closed doors she bugs the crap out of him and he basically ignores her and watches, Who Wants to be a Millionaire and thinks "I coulda married the redhead."
I can tell from their eyes that’s not true. What is true is that they love each other, really, deeply love each other…even like each other.
I can tell, like the strangers I saw walking on the street, they care enough to work at caring.
I think this is no small feat, but that the results are worth every bit of effort.
That’s what their eyes say anyway.
Today a friend's husband demanded a divorce. I want to go to their house too, as an apparition, for a week or so...float around and take notes on what not to do.
Every holiday season I watch It's a Wonderful Life. I have my own copy, and every year I sit holding my breath in painful ecstasy as George Bailey's nose touches Mary Hatch's forehead and he grabs her and says "I don't want any plastics and I don't want any ground floors and I don't want to be married to anyone, ever!" And then he pulls her close, kisses her, holds her tight and says "Mary, oh Mary."
The next scene is their wedding.
In that same movie that I so adore Mary has enough time to have four children, renovate a run-down, two-story house AND run the USO, so I realize it's not exactly based in reality, but what is real for me about it is the power of love when its in its purest, most innocent, selfless form. (I won’t ruin the movie for you by telling you all the beautiful ways this power manifests, but if you haven’t seen it go rent the DVD right this second!)
I do not know the “abiding love” algorithm unraveled and absorbed by the couple on the street, the couple down the hall, or George and Mary, but I do know that no one, including me, should settle for any less.
By Hannah Logan © 2006
thank you miss hannah for sharing this with us, we love it!
