Being a newlywed has so many challenges and adjustments as it is, but having the man of your dreams deployed after you barely said "I do" can really set you in a tailspin.
You knew your new hubby would be deployed, and everything that you did to prepare for his deployment seems so meaningless now. You are wondering about how you'll get through the next hour let alone the next six months to a year.
You
eloped on the beach at the last minute, it was more beautiful than you thought it could ever be, you promised for better or worse, you took care of all of the military paperwork, you signed up for military benefits, you talked to your new hubby at great length about surviving the lonely months. You talked to your mom, you talked to your girlfriends, you talked to your dad. Truth be known, you talked to anyone who would listen.
But now the reality of everything is just beginning to sink in. You knew it would be hard to be left behind. Not knowing exactly where your new husband is at any given moment. You knew your heart would break just a little.... no, a lot. Your heart will break a lot.
Now you realize that you have to be brave and pick up the pieces of your heart and be strong and BUSY. You place your beautiful
wedding photos in special places around the house,where you can see them everyday. You have email hooked up and ready to go, you just got the newest version of the iphone or Blackberry. You've put all your family and friends on red alert for a support team to keep you going. The first few months are the hardest, you wait for every email, every letter, every phone call. Honestly, that part doesn't change much. Every word from him is a treasure when he is so far away.
What will change is how you can adapt and find your way on your own in those times when things are really tough. The human spirit is strong, and the love you feel will give you the strength to be brave and supportive to your husband when he needs you the most.
Take comfort in knowing how many other couples have survived multiple deployments over many years, only to be made stronger by rejoining and recommitting themselves to one another. Just think of the war brides in the 1940's and 50's, your grandparents might even have a story or two to share with you.
Also take comfort in the work your husband (wife) is doing because it is really, really important. He may be one of the crew on the Carl Vinson sent to
Haiti to bring food, water and ground support to the earthquake victims. Or he may be part of the support team helping a Coast Guard Cutter floating in the sea, perhaps helping the Marines in Iraq or Afghanistan. Your sailor may be part of the 10,000 troops sent for search and rescue efforts in Haiti this last week. All of this work and every single effort done to serve and protect, goes beyond words I could say here. In fact, really, we have no words to describe how important their work is. Words fall short when we try to express just how much our active duty military service people are appreciated for their sacrifices and efforts. You can be proud to share in this, your support means the world to your husband, his family and his fellow sailors.
Tips for navigating your temporary solo journey!
I wanted to let you know that during the time of your husbands (or wife's) deployment, there are many resources available to you to help you navigate these waters. You won't have to do it alone. Don't be afraid to ask for the support you need.
Here are some suggestions for activities that can benefit you as well as those around you! Many people choose to do volunteer work, there are so many needs around the community right now. The
USO is a great place to volunteer, and to also find support. Your church may have volunteer opportunities in their youth program, or sunday school program, and again offering some of the emotional support you might need. The military has
Chaplain services if you don't have a church that you are a member of. There are several great websites we've listed below for information and support, one is in fact is operated by volunteer Navy spouses!
If you can reach out to your community, there are programs such as Meals on Wheels, and local San Diego animal shelters. Our animal shelters can always use foster families and hands on help at the shelter. You may even fall in love with a new critter to keep you company :) If you like children ( and who doesn't?) there are local neighborhood schools, the Big Brothers-Big Sisters program, or the Boys and Girls Clubs. Consider our local food banks or women's shelters. You might even think about starting a weekly
support group for military families, or joining one.
This might be a great time to do something you've always wanted to do for yourself, dance classes, reading the classics, catching up on old movies, a class on sewing, or computers. Here in San Diego, we have many, many
free computer classes to learn web design or photoshop. There are also classes for a
Culinary Arts degree, learn about Ebay, take a photography or drawing class, or
hula hooping! You could start a blog. Maybe you've always wanted to teach a class. There are opportunities for that as well. I'm attaching here some links below that may help you.
The possibilities for coping and blossoming are nearly endless if you make the decision to be happy and busy until the Mister (or Mrs.) sails back into your arms!
Links:
For you:
Toll Free #
1 877 673 7773 to receive referrals ,
information and support from volunteer Navy spouses
Volunteer opportunities
Who we are:
~
ElopeSanDiego.com~Christine, author of this blog is also the proud mom of a Navy Sailor, Ben who is months away from becoming a Navy Chaplain! Also the owner of ElopeSanDiego.com a boutique elopement service in San Diego, California and an award winning wedding photographer with more than twenty two years behind the camera.
Miscellaneous Military Services
( we love these guys, so it's simply a free plug to help
you with organizing your banking & finances)
